It was sort of a New York moment.
I was riding the subway, in Toronto, last night at about 9:45 pm. Westbound on the Bloor line, the train had just left the St. George station. Then I hear a gruff woman’s voice behind where I’m standing. She is yelling, “Change! Change!” As I turn around, she is shaking her hand, palm up, with a handful of coins in it. She jingles them under the nose of a seated passenger. “Change?” He mumbles, “No, sorry.” She does it again to a woman sleeping and slumping in her seat. The sleeper continues her slumber, unmoved. The begging woman proceeds to poke the sleeping woman, who is startled awake, looks up to see this scruffy woman asking for spare change. She shakes her head no and goes back to sleep.
The woman turns to me, holds up her hand showing me all the coins and yells, “Change?” I reply, “No thanks.” She moves on.
About half way down the subway car she raises her voice even louder, announcing, “Ladies and gentlemen I’m very hungry. I haven’t eaten for three days. I am living on the street and it is very difficult for me. Please help me, I need money to buy some food.”
A woman reaches from behind me, dumping a handful of coins into the begging woman’s hand. There was no “thank you”, no “God bless you”, no reply, nothing. The begging woman turned away, stood in the middle of the rumbling and rocking subway car and looked through the change in her hand.
To the shock and grins of various observers, including myself, she picked out the pennies and dropped them one by one on the floor of the subway car. Then she dropped a couple of dimes and nickels. She hung on to everything quarter or larger. I looked back at the woman who had given her the handful of coins. I’m not sure what I was looking for; closure to a strange anecdote, perhaps. She looked ashamed.
Ashamed for giving a disturbed, probably homeless woman money? Or ashamed for thinking of getting up and picking up the unwanted nickels and dimes? Not sure.
The strange occurrence reminds me of a trip to New York City in the late 1990s. This was before Giuliani “removed” all the street people. I recall being impressed with one man’s sign: “Need money for booze, drugs and hookers.” I thought it was great because he was being honest; that there was something so urbanely kitchy about it.
So I gave him a handful of pocket change, while a friend snapped a picture (of which I no longer have a copy). The man with the sign then proceeded to pick through all the change I had handed to him and handed back all the Canadian money (which had mixed in my pocket when I had entered the US).
I suppose now even beggars can be choosers.
The woman turns to me, holds up her hand showing me all the coins and yells, “Change?” I reply, “No thanks.” She moves on.
About half way down the subway car she raises her voice even louder, announcing, “Ladies and gentlemen I’m very hungry. I haven’t eaten for three days. I am living on the street and it is very difficult for me. Please help me, I need money to buy some food.”
A woman reaches from behind me, dumping a handful of coins into the begging woman’s hand. There was no “thank you”, no “God bless you”, no reply, nothing. The begging woman turned away, stood in the middle of the rumbling and rocking subway car and looked through the change in her hand.
To the shock and grins of various observers, including myself, she picked out the pennies and dropped them one by one on the floor of the subway car. Then she dropped a couple of dimes and nickels. She hung on to everything quarter or larger. I looked back at the woman who had given her the handful of coins. I’m not sure what I was looking for; closure to a strange anecdote, perhaps. She looked ashamed.
Ashamed for giving a disturbed, probably homeless woman money? Or ashamed for thinking of getting up and picking up the unwanted nickels and dimes? Not sure.
The strange occurrence reminds me of a trip to New York City in the late 1990s. This was before Giuliani “removed” all the street people. I recall being impressed with one man’s sign: “Need money for booze, drugs and hookers.” I thought it was great because he was being honest; that there was something so urbanely kitchy about it.
So I gave him a handful of pocket change, while a friend snapped a picture (of which I no longer have a copy). The man with the sign then proceeded to pick through all the change I had handed to him and handed back all the Canadian money (which had mixed in my pocket when I had entered the US).
I suppose now even beggars can be choosers.
Found this on the net, thot it was appropriate. "Help me - I am a disabled clone war vet. Need $$$ to build death star."
8 comments:
Interesting entry. I find it very hard to give money to panhandlers. This is one of the reasons. Sad to see a needy soul be so ungrateful.
Good entry. I've seen similar things in the past too. I agree about the ungratefulness. And Penguin, to your point, I think for some it's their hands that are needy, for some it's their souls. It's this latter group that causes me anguish. To see a fellow human being in such pain that they do not understand how injurous they're own actions are to themselves is a great tragedy.
Every week or so, when I venture north of King on Yonge during work hours, I see a woman curled up in a corner. Her mental anguish is so great that one cannot help but feel it. She never asks me for change, but I give it to her. On her good days, the look she gives me is one of total gratitude. Other days, she is so tortured she can't even look at me.
I have no answer to her anguish but my compassion.
A little emotional here.
John Conley
TP & JC: I see it as a semi-permanent part of the society I was born into and live in. There will always be those on the fringe of society's norms, those who can not adapt, those who are naturally deviant. What I have realized is that giving money doesn't help solve the systemic problem, it only treats the symptoms and encourages the beggers to continue their lifestyle, because they can.
If one is feeling emotional and wants to really help, donate time instead of money. It can be very satisfying. /rd
this brings up an interesting thought. why can't beggars be choosers? If we're giving someone change, why can't they decide exactly how to treat it? I have often seen myself discard a penny here and there with no thought about the value or the injustice to the wasting of money. I once worked on a food truck in a poor neighbourhood in Washington DC, just outside the White House and that is where I learned that beggars can be choosers. There was a man who was offered orange juice because we ran out of apple juice. He was pissed and expressed this, just like anyone else would when something we want isn't available. I found it to be brilliant lesson. To maintain one's humanity and personality it's often necessary to be choosy, to share opinions and if it comes to it, to drop the pennies out of a handful of "donated" change.
anna
A: Your point is valid in that if one asking for something, they should have the right to choose amongst alternatives available. For example: "I want money for booze", "I want money for food", "I want spare change in denomination larger dimes."
How many times have we heard the urban myths/stories of someone trying to make enough money for a bus ticket home, and when someone offers to buy them the ticket instead of giving them money, the person refuses angrily - because they really want the money for something else (booze, drugs, etc.).
This woman on the subway took the spare change she had asked for and dropped it on the ground in front of the person who gave it to her; nickels, dimes, and pennies - they add up. It's not as though the good samaritan had offered the begging woman a book in response to her request for spare change. /rd
I see this woman frequently on the Bloor-Danforth line. She is extremely aggressive, and have even see her get into a verbal sparing match with another rider - almost coming to a physical confrontation.
She hops from car to car screaming the same lines about not eating for three days and that she's hungry. At first I thought it was an annoying yet enterprising way to beg for change. Now I find it disturbing. I'm surprised the TTC has not done something about this. Her tactics are bound to eventually get someone hurt.
I've also seen the woman on Yonge who wedges herself into the corners of building doorways. She's been around for years. I tried talking to her once and it became clear she was mentally unstable. She wasn't talking to me, but through me, most of what she was saying was incomprehensible.
My favourite beggar is the large, middle-age man who walks around the Univeristy-Dundas-Church-King area and yells at the top of his lungs 'Com-on, can you spare a guy come change for something to eat'. I've seen him make people jump.
Another classic is the guy who sits outside of St. Patrick subway station dressed as Santa with a box for change, similar to a salvation army type set up, and on it is a sign that says 'Sleigh broke down'. I have seen him around Christmas, but usually he's out in the summer.
Then there are the women who sit outside the World's Biggest Book Store. Nice ladies really, if you don't give them any change when you walk by they occasionally tell you to have a good day. But more often then not they come up with some very colourful expletives (I think Darcy Tucker frequents the area for inspiration).
I've never handed change to any of these people.
However, there was one I would contribute to regularly. I'm not sure if he's still around, but down near the Esplande parking area a guy used to sit outside of the O'keefe Centre (Hummingbird or Sony Centre for the younger audience) with a hand written sign, each day different, with a joke. And they were usually pretty funny. He sometimes would have a sign that said he didn't need money, he just wanted to make people smile. He never held out his hand, never had a cup or box, the only thing he would say is 'Good Morning' with a huge smile. I must say that when I stopped parking in the area I actually missed seeing his daily words of wisdom and his smile. Sometimes I'd give him a few bucks, usually around Christmas, but mostly I'd bring him a coffee and you could tell he was really appreciative of it. Now I'm not sure if he really needed the money or not, I always had this feeling he was legitimate in saying he didn't need hand outs. I just have this feeling he won the lottery at some point and really was only trying to brighten up the days of those who passed by.
I could go on about people begging for cash as I've spent a lot of time in the downtown area. Maybe one day I'll tell the story of the beggar who asked my buddy for change, his reply, 'Do you accept VISA?' /k
K and I volunteered at St. Francis Table last year for a day, helping to make and then serve lunch in the Parkdale area. SFT offer a three course meal to anyone who comes in -- for $1.
Most people who came in were very respectful and patient with me during my first fumbling foray into waitressing, but one woman gave me a hard time. She said she wanted an extra sandwich (she thought everyone was given two while she was given only one), or she would demand her money back.
How can you yell at a volunteer who just made you lunch and served it to you -- for $1?
Brother John, the monk who runs SFT, explained. As a poor or homeless person, you migh spend your day either being invisible and disregarded by people, or treated badly by anyone who does actually look at you. So, when you do find yourself interacting with someone, you might take the chance to reverse the roles. You might try to turn the experience of being waited on during a $1 meal into an opportunity to take back the dignity that you've been denied all day long and demand to be treated like a regular human being.
Exactly what Anna said. We all throw away pennies -- why can't the subway panhandler? The expectations shouldn't be any different.
M, again, valid point. I would not argue against the notion that regardless of social status, an individual has the right to be treated like a regular human being. I would add that the same treatee has the obligation to treat others like regular human beings as well.
Now it's just a matter of defining the treatment of regular human beings, and the behaviour of regular human beings.
Bravo to you and K for your volunteering efforts. /rd
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