My best man

My best man presented a speech at my wedding that is still being commented on and admired by all kinds of different people in different circles. I was very impressed with the writing and the delivery of his speech. My best man is a very talented public speaker; he wrote and delivered with passion, humour, intelligence and love. See for yourself, his original draft is replicated below. Thank you for these wonderful words, imagery, memories, and for your friendship. You're the best, man.

Good evening everyone. I hope you all have been enjoying this wonderful dinner.

My name is Samir and I am the Best Man this evening.

In time-honoured tradition, I will now do my best to give Rahul the most uncomfortable few minutes of his life. For the record, the most uncomfortable few minutes of Anna’s life will be coming later on this evening, courtesy of Rahul.

Before we get to the ritual character assassination of the groom that forms the basis of a traditional Best Man’s speech, I want to start off with a very big thank you to everybody who had a hand in bringing this evening together.

Next I’d like to thank Rahul for asking me to be his Best Man. Although part of me wonders if he really did know better and just didn’t want to piss me off.

I must say that I was really nervous before hand, so I prepared a few lines… … and having snorted them I'm feeling pretty good right now...

What can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings and is now quickly rising to the very top of his profession based solely on intelligence, grit and the willpower to push on where others might fail?

How do you begin to talk about a man who is beginning to distinguish himself amongst his peers and where none can say a bad word against him?

Well, that's enough about the best man. I'm here to talk about Rahul.

For those who don’t know, Rahul and I have known each other for a very long time. We met at Toronto’s international airport when my family and I first arrived in Canada some 32 years ago.

When you’ve known someone for that long, you acquire a wealth of information, an intimate knowledge of an individual.

So what can I say?

Rahul was an awkward sort of child growing up. Always a little goofy, perhaps a little clumsy, always seemed to like playing sports more than watching them. Even though he couldn’t play for beans.

Aside: That means he throws like a girl.

I once even wrote a poem about how downright awful he was playing street hockey with my friends and I when he would come over for a visit.

I’ll have the good grace not to share that poem with you all this evening.

But that doesn’t mean he didn’t have his good qualities though. Sometimes he didn’t feel like playing at all….

As he grew older, it became obvious that he had a penchant for art and this manifested itself in many ways. Poetry, creative writing, photography, and even drawing and painting.

From an early age, he had also been an avid reader, of course. By the time he was in university studying English, philosophy, and religion, as well as playing guitar, he had turned into quite the hippy.

That’s about the time Rahul and Anna first met – some 12 or 14 years ago.

Rahul and I were living in a cooperative student residence and one of our housemates was our good friend Christina. The connection came through her sister Cherilee who is best friends with Anna.

One of the earliest memories I have of Anna was when all of us were at Cherilee’s place for a Halloween party and she introduced herself in all seriousness as “Athena the Greek Goddess”. Clearly, this Anna person was by no means shy and definitely had a sense of humour. She also seemed perfectly in character as Athena.

Way back then, however, nothing really happened. We all sort of went on with our own things, whether it was education, or developing our careers, and so on.

I guess Athena, counselor and shrewd companion of heroes, goddess of wisdom and war, didn’t have much use for a granola-crunching, existentialist, disciple of Kerouac who would probably have much rather been “on the road” anyway.

Sure enough, Rahul did hit the road. Travelled around the U.K. and Western Europe, in fact. Grew his hair long (again), grew a goatee, and even bleached it all. During his travels he even saw fit to have a kissing session with a Heelan Coo. There’s even a photograph somewhere to prove it!

In any case, Rahul came back from his trip, shaved his head (again), and began to build his career. He became a bus boy at The Docks nightclub.

The details of exactly how the bald bus boy cum hippy that worked at a night club evolved into the clean cut, professional, M.B.A. student are really not relevant for us here tonight.

In those details are the unfortunate truths about how Rahul lost touch with his artistic side, putting aside canvas, and camera, and prose, and poetry.

What IS relevant, is how we all ended up here.

Two summers ago, Rahul and I went down to Florida for our friend Christina’s wedding. It was a great reunion for groups of friends that either had only met sporadically or not at all for a number of years.

Anna was there.

Getting reacquainted with people one hasn’t seen in quite some time -- especially a period of time when almost everyone has been going through some form of transformational period -- takes a lot of time.

Thankfully, that weekend afforded that time.

I could talk about the awesome lunch buffet, or the reception on the boat cruise as we went around Fort Lauderdale in the afternoon, or the fun after-party at the Garofano home that night. But I won’t.

Instead I’ll mention the next day when several of us drove down with the newlyweds to Key Largo to do some boating and afterwards we went for dinner.

We were outside on a covered patio which faced west into the Gulf of Mexico. We were there for quite a long time enjoying our meal, drinks, and each other’s company while a thunderstorm very slowly built up and approached from out over the water.

It was fascinating watching the great storm come together from smaller pockets of rain, lightning bolts flashing, and hearing the low-pitched rumble of very distant thunder.

The storm built up slowly over a couple of hours, I think, but there was electricity in the air the whole time!

It’s my belief that it was during that dinner, with the thunderstorms and the company of a few close friends, that something very wonderful and special started to happen.

Yeah, that’s right. I think we all know what I’m talking about.

Rahul started acting half his age.

Cherilee and Anna continued down through the Keys with the newlyweds Christina and Brandon, while I drove Rahul back to Fort Lauderdale. Through a vicious thunderstorm. With nothing but a goofy, googly-eyed, and definitely very smitten passenger for company. The water flowing out of the eaves couldn’t compare to the way he was gushing!

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m very pleased to say that the GOOF who was my passenger that night, is continuing to build his career and is nearing completion of his M.B.A.

He has also started playing sports again. Although he still throws like a girl, he at least tries to hide it by throwing side-arm.

At the same time as all that, he has rekindled his love of artistic pursuits including photography but most especially writing.

But most importantly of all, he is embarking on a new adventure with his counselor of heroes, his muse, his very best friend, his WIFE.

Anna, I may be the BEST man tonight, but that person sitting beside you is the LUCKIEST!

And I must add that I think you are pretty darned lucky too. If Rahul was only HALF the man he is, I think you’d be the same height!

Dear friends, please indulge me a moment longer as I close with a few words borrowed from others.

First, some words of advice for the bride and groom from some wise old owl somewhere:

To keep a marriage brimming
with love in the loving cup,
when you are wrong, admit it
and when you are right, shut up!

Here’s a few more words from Paul Valery – French poet, essayist, and
philosopher: Love is being stupid together.

I must say, watching these two for the past couple of years, they are DEFINITELY in love!

Let’s all raise a glass folks! To the bride and groom:

May the most you wish for
Be the least you receive
And may the saddest day of your future
Be no worse than the happiest day of your past

Best man and I, with champagne in the limo, post ceremony.